flashthoughts

Archive for June 2012

Do you ever have trouble wondering if you’re hearing from God or am I the only one that struggles in that department? It’s times like that when I am forced to realize that I don’t spend the time in His Word that I should. If I did, maybe I wouldn’t question so much if it’s truly Him I’m hearing from but that’s a post for another day, right?

I recently went through this battle again – trying to figure out if I was hearing from Him or being absolutely crazy – but I handled things differently this time. Instead of telling anyone else what was going on, I kept it between Him and me. I decided prayer was my best way to go. I asked Him to show me, with no uncertainty, that it was absolutely HIM and I knew there were ways He could do this. I prayed and then I waited and listened and He made Himself so clear. I wish I had written down from the beginning all the things that transpired but I didn’t. On June 12 I did, however, go back and write down the things that really stood out from the beginning until that day and, after that, I wrote down each day the things that happened. Since I can’t figure out how to condense it down, I will just share from my journal for this particular journey.

THESE ENTRIES ARE MADE JUNE 12 – REMEMBERED THE BEST I CAN

Friday, May 4, 2012

I attended my first ever 31 Party with Jessica and Cassie in Auburn. It was there that I learned Thirty One is based on Proverbs 31. I never knew that. It was at that party I began to feel ‘hmmm…maybe I should have one of these parties’ but IMMEDIATELY dismissed the idea. Why? Because I had said I would not have any more ‘parties’ like that because no one would show up. The last party I tried to host was for a friend who was trying to get started in Premier Jewelry – NO ONE showed up except for my Mom. That ‘party’ consisted of me, my daughter, my Mom and the friend I had tried to help. What a disappointment – not to mention that it REALLY fueled my feelings of insecurity and rejection!

Week of May 7, 2012

I don’t really remember what day or how we even got on the subject (other than the Lord bringing it about, which I didn’t realize at the time) but my co-worker had been looking for something online and the next thing I knew I was telling her about Thirty One and all the neat things they have. She was looking at the website and made the comment there were lots of nice things that would make great Christmas gifts. Before I knew it, I was saying, “So, if I have a party, would you come or like to order something?” WHAAAAAAT??? I really just said that???? WHOA!!! {Guess I should have started getting suspicious right then but I was still clueless about what was coming – lol}

So, I sent a text to the only person I knew that was a Thirty One Consultant, Janalyn, and told her I’d like to have a party. It took us a while to be able to get together to pick a date but we finally did and settled on June 15.

Week of June 4, 2012

Sometime during this week – I’m thinking maybe around Thursday or Friday – another thought started nagging me at the back of my head. I had started looking through the catalog to make my ‘wish list’ and I really started getting excited about all the neat things I was seeing. Even though this thought went fleeting through my head, I sure didn’t let it linger or dwell on it – I just kept looking through the catalog.

 Saturday, June 9, 2012

I was looking through the catalog again to finish up my wish list, passing time until it was time for Mom and I to head to Daphne. As I was looking through the catalog again, that silly, nagging thought returned. I tried to immediately dismiss it again but it would not go away this time. I found myself giving in to it and sending Janalyn a text to see when I could meet with her so I could talk to her about it. I had quite a few questions because of this thought that had “attacked” (lol) me out of nowhere.

We were able to get together the next afternoon and she took a lot of time and answered all the questions I could think to ask and even shared some things that I had not thought about.

THE FOLLOWING ENTRIES ARE BEING MADE IN “REAL TIME”

 Tuesday, June 12, 2012

 After talking with Janalyn and getting the answers to my questions, I still felt I had a lot of praying to do. I have tried too many things “on my own” before and I only want to do this if I can truly feel from Him that it is something He wants me to pursue.

Every time I think about becoming a Thirty One Consultant, I get excited about helping people get organized and I start thinking, “I could do this”. Then all the ‘doubting Thomas’ questions come in to my head. This morning I was going through that same cycle again but when the questions started coming in my mind and I started doubting again, I suddenly felt as if ‘someone’ (hmmmm….wonder Who? LOL) was saying to me, “Who do you think is feeding you the doubt?” That’s when I suddenly felt peace again about doing this.

Later that morning I saw this post from one of my friends on Facebook: “For the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught. Prov 3:26. May we have God-confidence, not self-confidence” {Or as Renee Swope calls it – Godfidence!}

I took that as reassurance that I was definitely hearing from Him and I KNOW He is going to use this as a tool to help me further overcome my battle with insecurity.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Today’s Daily Promise is another reassurance that I am taking the step He wants me to take. This is what it said:

Matthew 17:19-20 WEB

19 Then the disciples came to Jesus privately, and said, “Why weren’t we able to cast it out?”
20 He said to them, “Because of your unbelief. For most certainly I tell you,
if you have faith as a grain of 
mustard seed, you will tell this mountain,
‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.

 Promise #164: Nothing will be impossible for those who have even a little faith.

In this promise, Jesus tells us that even if our faith is as tiny as a mustard seed, we are able to tell a mountain to be thrown into the sea. Since I haven’t seen many mountains hurled into the sea lately, I often wonder what Jesus meant when He said these words to His disciples.

Of course we all have many figurative mountains in our lives that we face on a daily basis. Perhaps it isn’t the literal mountains around us that need moving, but these figurative ones? Maybe one day we will see literal mountains cast into the oceans, but in the meantime, what are the mountains in your life where you need a miracle? I love the fact that Jesus encourages us that we don’t need much faith at all to make a big impact.

From what I understand, a mustard seed is a very small seed, yet Jesus says even if our faith is that small, nothing will be impossible to us. Maybe it is time to start exercising the faith that you have? Start speaking to the mountains in your life with a childlike simplicity, just believing that they have to go away in Jesus name. Who knows what may start to happen?

 When I think of this promise, I am reminded of the man who came to Jesus to ask Him to deliver his son and Jesus asked him… “Do you believe?”. The man responded “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!” Jesus didn’t rebuke the man for this response but healed his son instantly.

 God understands our frailty, yet He continues to encourage us to simply have faith and watch what happens. Today I am going to speak to the mountains in my life, how about you?

 My “mountain” is insecurity – automatically assuming people don’t want me around or that I’m ‘not good enough’ – but I know these are lies from the enemy and I am choosing to fight hard to ‘move that mountain’ with my faith.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

I will not apologize for not believing in ‘coincidence’. I believe God shows us things at the very time we need to see them and I believe He will use all different sources – be it a daily devotional, an inspirational email, a friend’s facebook post or a tweet on twitter or any other number of things – to give us answers to our prayers or to reassure us once we feel that we have received His answer, whether it is yes, no or maybe. That is why I had to chuckle just a bit when I opened my You Version Bible Reading for the day. The title? “Don’t Wait to Obey God”

There is a refreshing immediacy to Joseph’s relationship with God. When God said it, Joseph did it.

 If you believe God loves you and you want to live a life of obedience in response to His love, then this is how you should respond: When God says it, then do it.

 I’ve had the opportunity to meet a lot of great men and women of faith from around the world. They’re all different from each other, but they all have one thing in common. When they sense God saying to do something, they don’t hesitate. They step out and do it.

 First John 5:3 says, “This is love for God, to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome.” (NIV) I was talking recently with Tom Holladay, my brother-in-law, about why, when God asks you to do something, it sometimes feels like a burden. What’s wrong?

 We decided it’s often because of procrastination. When we don’t act right away, it becomes harder to do the longer we wait. But when we do what God says, freedom comes into our lives.

 What is God calling you to do? Is it a phone call you need to make? An action you need to take? Whatever it is, write it down right now, tell God you’re willing to do it and ask Him to give you the strength you need to make it happen.

So – I ‘sort of’ have this one licked already – I have already started writing it down and I HAVE been asking Him to give me not only the strength but the COURAGE I need to make it happen. And I know that He will.

Another thing I want to share is, I also felt He was saying to me, “Say nothing to anyone until the night of the party and make the announcement then.” That was REALLY hard for me because I REALLY wanted to talk to my Mom about it and I also wanted to tell a very close friend and my daughter – but I didn’t. Oh, I came close to letting it slip a couple of times, but I was able to realize what I was about to do and reminded myself that I couldn’t. Let me just tell you how the enemy tried to get me to “spill the beans” before I was supposed to: A co-worker was looking through the catalog today and asked me, “Is this something you’re selling now?” It was REALLY hard not to say anything BUT I knew exactly where that question came from – he was a little TOO obvious with that one so I simply replied, “No” which was an honest answer because I had not signed up to be a consultant – YET 😉

Friday, June 15, 2012

WOW! I was beginning to wonder if this day would EVER get here and then I thought 6:30 would NEVER come! Thankfully, I was fairly busy all day getting the house ready and food prepared. I had received 15 “yes” responses from my invitations and 7 “maybe” responses but I was still wondering if anyone would actually show up. Then it started – I started receiving texts saying “I really was planning to come but…” or “I’m not gonna be able to make it after all” and you KNOW what the enemy started doing. Started putting thoughts in my head of how no one would actually show up and I was TOTALLY missing God on this one and why did I even think for a minute I should do this. But I IMMEDIATELY dismissed these thoughts because I knew of some that were coming for sure and I REFUSED to let the enemy camp in my thoughts. The time of the party finally arrived and can you guess what happened? That’s right – you got it – the living room was SO full that if one more person had shown up, I know we would have fit them in, but I sure don’t know where or how! LOL There were a total of 15 people here, including Janalyn and myself.

There you have it –  my journey to becoming a Thirty One Consultant. Now I am excited about beginning the journey as a consultant. Whether God has me here for a long time or a short time, I know this is where He has me right now and I can’t wait to get started. There is one other thing that happened allowing me to know for sure that God is the One that called me to this and it wasn’t just a ‘fleeting’ idea that went through my head, but I am not at liberty to share what it was at this time. I will share it when I have permission from the other person that it involves. Just trust me that it was the one final piece of information to assure me once and for all that this is definitely a “God” thing 🙂

I will keep you all updated about how the journey goes and I would also love to hear from you about your journeys. Any mountains you want to speak to or that you’ve spoken to in the past? Would you share? Maybe you can only share that you are currently on a journey and would like prayer – that’s okay, too. Share only that request for prayer. I’m sure that others would join me in praying for God to show you His direction, even though you can’t share the specifics. I look forward to hearing from y’all.

Once again, I let the entire week go by without reading or studying the upcoming chapter in The Story. Side Note: The Story is what we have been studying at our church, from the young ones to Children’s Church to adults, since January. The Story is “The Bible as One Continuing Story of God and His People”. 

So, there I was, sitting at my desk Sunday morning, reading over Chapter 19 and I came to the part with the scripture from Haggai. Now, I don’t know about you, but Haggai is one of those books that, honestly, I hardly ever think about. I’m just going to confess right now that I have a very hard time trying to comprehend a lot of the Old Testament books. Now, before you jump on me too bad about that statement, let me say this – YES! I wholeheartedly know that EVERY book in the Bible is important and has knowledge and lessons for me and everyone else – if not, they wouldn’t have been included in His Book. I am simply saying that I tend to ‘avoid’ reading what is hard for me to understand. Again, yes, I know that isn’t good – I’m simply confessing a fault of mine.

Anyway – back to Haggai. Because I rarely read from this book, God truly had something fresh to show me there. Let me just share with you the message of Haggai that I read and then I will tell you what truly opened my eyes to something I didn’t like seeing about myself.

In the second year of King Darius, on the first day of the sixth month, the word of the Lord came through the prophet Haggai to Zerubbabel son Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Joshua son of Jozadak, the high priest: This is what the Lord Almighty says: “These people say, ‘The time has not yet come to rebuild the Lord’s house.'” Then the word of the Lord came through the prophet Haggai: “Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?” Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build my house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the Lord. “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty, “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house. Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the olive oil and everything else the ground produces, on people and livestock and on all the labor of your hands.” Then Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, Joshua son of Jozadak, the high priest, and the whole remnant of the people obeyed the voice of the Lord their God and the message of the prophet Haggai, because the Lord their God had sent him. And the people feared the Lord. Then Haggai, the Lord’s messenger, gave this message of the Lord to the people: “I am with you,” declares the Lord. So the Lord stirred up the spirit of Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and the spirit of Joshua son of Jozadak, the high priest, and the spirit of the whole remnant of the people. They came and began to work on the house of the Lord Almighty, their God, on the twenty-fourth day of the sixth month. ~ Haggai 1:1-15

The verse that jumped out at me and disciplined me was verse 4: “Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?” Immediately as I read those words, I KNEW without a doubt what my Father was saying to me. I have been neglecting my time with Him and, in a sense, neglecting to build His house. Meaning, I haven’t been building my relationship with Him as I should. I have not been spending ‘quality’ time with Him, listening to see what He might want to say to me. Oh sure, I’ve been reading my two or three devotionals that I get in my email each morning. I’ve been reading the scripture and devotional in my You Version reading plan every morning. But I have NOT been COMMUNICATING with Him and BUILDING our relationship. I joined a friend, Angela Mackey, in a challenge to pray continually for 30 days and I haven’t even been doing that like I should. {You can check out the challenge here}

I realize this doesn’t make me any less His child and NOTHING I do (or don’t do) could EVER make Him love me less. What it does, however, is hurt Him when I don’t spend time with Him. Don’t we want the people we love to spend time with us? I was about to say that He is no different, but I’m not sure that would be accurate. Think about how much you enjoy spending time with the ones you love and how much you love when they spend time with you – then try multiplying that by infinity and THAT is how much He wants us to choose to spend time with Him and THAT is how much He is willing to spend time with us. Then multiply by infinity how it hurts you when those you love DON’T want to spend quality time with you, and that is how it hurts Him when we choose not to spend quality time with Him.

I did NOT take this verse to mean that, if I spend more time with Him, then my “purse will be full” instead of a purse with holes – what this verse meant to me was, if I spend time with Him, then our RELATIONSHIP will be full and I will be more aware of when I hear HIS voice and it would really make my life SO much better! Not easier, necessarily, but definitely better.

I know that I have to work on this area and I am confessing this to everyone in hopes that you will all lift me up in prayer when you think about it. Specifically, I am praying for the desire of my heart to become that I SO want to spend time with Him that I can’t wait for our “quality” time to come each day. I know that He is with me 24/7 and never leaves me but I am talking about our special, quality time where we can be alone together and have a heart-to-heart, maybe even sometimes without either of us saying a word. Does that make sense to anyone but me?

I’d love to hear your thoughts about Haggai’s message. Did any of it speak to you? If you’re willing to share, I’d love you to leave me a comment and tell me about it. Do you have anything you would like for others to join you in prayer about? Leave a comment and share that request. I will join you in prayer and I’m sure others will also.

Love y’all!


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