From Turtle to Butterfly

Archive for June 2015

THE QUIET TIMEI wanted so much to write about it that very day. I wasn’t able to – not only because of other things needing to be done; but, because I had no idea how to put it into words. I asked Him to help me get it down, so I wouldn’t forget and so I would have it to look back on later, as I felt He was going to begin to do more and more and I wanted to remember when and where it started. He never gave me the words to write about it, though, until today – four weeks later – and I’m still not sure I did it justice. I only know I felt it was time, because I had so much more to add now. I had no idea it had already been four weeks since my “unquiet, quiet time” until I sat down to write and looked in my prayer journal to get the date. I truly was thinking it had only been a couple of Sundays ago.

On Sunday, June 21, 2015, He led me to a verse I had already been praying quite often lately. I felt Him leading me to focus on praying that verse more. “Ask Me and I will tell you, Frank & Kathryn, remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come” – Jeremiah 33:3 (Yes, I have learned to always personalize the scriptures – especially when I am praying them). A little back-story here: My husband and I have been praying scriptures for God to show us what He wants to do about our house situation. We discovered we have Chinese drywall and it seems to be the culprit of keeping my husband so sick with his sinuses, etc. We know God doesn’t intend for us to live in a house that keeps either one of us sick, so we have been praying and asking Him to show us what we need to do. Jeremiah 33:3 is one of several verses He gave us to be praying through all this.

So, when He led me back to that verse on the 21st, I thought it was because maybe He was getting ready to show us something about the house situation. Now I’m not so sure that had anything to do with it. On Monday, June 22nd, He reinforced that scripture to me – remember, in Part I, I shared that I write the time down when I begin to write in my prayer journal. I think you could look through my prayer journals, covering the last few years and you would never see a time entry the same as the one last Monday morning, June 22nd. When I began to write in my prayer journal, I looked at the clock on my computer to get the time and it was 3:33 a.m.! WOW! I knew that was no accident or ‘coincidence’ – I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe in GODincidence!

On Tuesday, June 23rd, He reinforced it again when I merely glanced down at my “miles left on this tank of gas” gauge, as I do from time to time and it read 333!

I tell you these things to share why I had truly been focusing on praying that verse and to share with you, when you pray in earnest and you are truly serious about what you are praying, GOD LISTENS!!! You may be thinking He wants to show you something about one situation, yet, He will use that to get your attention and then answer your prayer by showing you something entirely different!

Tomorrow I will share with you what happened next 🙂

THE QUIET TIMERemember me saying how I try to be EXTREMELY quiet during my quiet time? Even as I began to pray, without writing, I was trying to pray quietly; but, that didn’t last long. I had my elbows resting on my desk with my hands up to my Father, praying and praying, thanking Him and thanking Him. I began crying and began to roll my desk chair further away from the desk, while keeping my elbows on the desk and my hands in the air, until I could no longer sit in the chair. I found myself on my knees, weeping uncontrollably, and crying out to my Father. Even that wasn’t enough, before I knew what was going on, I was stretched out, flat on my face before my Father. I knew I was no longer in control. All I could do was weep and pray. I have no idea what I was praying – no, I wasn’t praying in tongues, or at least not what most would consider praying in tongues. I know I was saying “Thank You, Jesus” over and over; but I was also hearing deep, guttural sounds and I have no idea what that was all about. I was praying and weeping from a place deep within my soul like I’ve never done before.

I would come to a place where I wasn’t weeping and I would think I was done.  I can even remember thinking during those times, ‘I’m going to wake up the whole house. The dogs are going to start pitching a fit to go out, Frank is going to get up and wonder what is going on in here (remember, I was supposed to wake him up at 6 and I had no idea what time it was); but, I had no control over what was going on and, remarkably, I never heard the dogs make a sound. It was as if they couldn’t hear me. The minute I would start thinking those things, I would start weeping from that deep, deep place again. I could sense God was saying, ‘I’m doing something in you. I’m starting something and I’m not done yet. I will let you know when you are released.’ I didn’t hear that in an ‘audible’ voice, just felt it in my Spirit.

Later, I was still lying on the floor and the weeping had subsided. Then I began to chuckle a little bit until I was laughing – yes, LAUGHING! – and I heard my Father ask me, “Do you remember?’”

“Oh, yes, Father,” I answered, “I remember. I remember it well,” and He held me in His lap again, with His arms around me and allowed me to laugh and laugh again, just like He did a few years ago. (You can read about that here, if you haven’t read it before)

Not long after that, He allowed me to move to a sitting position. I was even able to reach up and open the door to the office, but I couldn’t get up just yet. I heard my husband up and taking care of the dogs; but, I still couldn’t get up from the floor. I felt…….I really don’t even know how to explain what I felt….spent and, at the same time, refreshed and renewed. Still a little confused, not knowing exactly what had just taken place. I know it’s hard to understand; but, it was a feeling of knowing and, yet, not knowing at the same time. I knew one thing for sure – God had done something that morning and, I believe, it was just the beginning of far more to come.

You would think that was the “end of the story”, right? Not yet – stay tuned for Part III 🙂

THE QUIET TIMEIt was Sunday morning, May 31, 2015. I always get up early to have my “quiet” time with the Lord. This works best for me, as husband and doggies are still sleeping and the house is nice and quiet.

I come quietly out of the bedroom, easing the door closed behind me, and walk as lightly and gingerly as possible through the living room, past the doggy crates, so as not to wake them, as I make my way to my office. Once safely inside, with the door closed behind me, I turn on the light and get my devotional book, Bible and prayer journal. I always read my short devotion and then proceed to start writing my prayer in my journal. Keep in mind, I am always striving to be as quiet as I can – even when shuffling the books around, so as not to wake the husband or doggies.

The morning of May 31st was no different – until I started writing in my prayer journal. Some years back, I began writing the time down when I start my prayer and, this particular morning, I can look back and see I started writing my prayer at 4:46 a.m. I didn’t need to wake my husband up until 6:00, so I knew I would be done in plenty of time. But God……….He had other plans for me that morning. My prayer started out normal as usual, just thanking Him for different things. As this was the morning my husband would be giving the message on Life Row (yes, the Chaplains call it Life Row, not Death Row), I also began praying for him and the service he would be involved in later. I wrote a fairly lengthy paragraph and realized I could not write anymore! I felt, in my own words, from my entry that morning, “my heart is about to burst open right now!” I had to put the pen down so I could just continue to pray and PRAISE Him without writing. That’s when it happened.

Stay tuned for Part II – coming tomorrow 🙂

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