flashthoughts

AN UNQUIET QUIET TIME – PART IV

Posted on: July 1, 2015

THE QUIET TIME

Part IV – THE END – or is it really just the beginning?

Truly, I don’t understand why the rest of this is to be shared. Since it is on my heart to share it, however, I will. If it is only meant to be shared for one person to read it and get something from it, then it was worth it. Actually, if no one gets anything from it, it was still worth it because I am being obedient in writing it. So, if it is only about my obedience, I’m okay with that, too. As you read on, understand I am only sharing what God used to get MY attention to make me realize how I have been coming up short in my walk with Him. Now, on to Part IV. . .

Then came Friday, June 26th and the Supreme Court’s ruling. When I saw the breaking news on my phone and read their decision, it wasn’t only my heart that felt broken. I felt completely broken on the inside for our country, for the lost souls, for so many things. It was as if someone flipped a switch inside me and all I could do was cry. In fact, I did cry outwardly a little, but I was at work, so I had to try to keep myself together. I wanted to cry out to my Father loudly; but, I had to do my best to keep calm. I wanted to get somewhere and pray in earnest; but, I could only lift up silent prayers at the time.

This feeling of brokenness stayed with me the rest of Friday on into Saturday and Sunday. To be honest, I am still feeling it, although in a different sort of way. Now it’s as if it is there just enough to remind me how serious things truly are. If this decision is what it took for God to get my attention and make me realize how I had been neglecting a major part of my responsibility as His Child, it worked. I will never be the same again, I know that. I never want to be the same again!

I could not shake the feeling that I needed to be in the altar, crying out to my Father for forgiveness – forgiveness for my laziness in my prayers. Sunday morning I didn’t want to attend ‘just another church service’. I wanted to spend the time in prayer – and that’s what I did. The church we attended Sunday morning has a prayer room that is open during the morning service for anyone to go in and pray. I spent the worship time in the prayer room. I didn’t know what I was supposed to be praying for, specifically. I just started praying and asked Him to show me. In fact, I prayed Jeremiah 33:3 again, asking Him what it was He wanted to show me. I began praying for the service going on in the sanctuary, I prayed for lost loved ones and then I began to pray for my husband and myself. We both have a tendency, every now and then, to let the enemy ‘beat us up’ about things we did in our past and allow ourselves to fall for his lies about how we can’t be used by God because we aren’t good enough or smart enough or because of our past. Suddenly, I was praying against those spirits of confusion, doubt and self-condemnation, telling them they had to go in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth and asking God to replace them with His Spirit of order, clarity and virtue. Recognizing we don’t get our identity from our past, but we get our identity through His Son, Jesus Christ! I then began to ask Him to give me scriptures to remind us WHO we get our identity from and the thought came to me, ‘just get your Bible and see where it falls open’. No, I didn’t want to get scriptures ‘by chance’ – I wanted to “know that I know” the scriptures were the exact ones HE wanted us to meditate on. Like the way He led me to Jeremiah 33:3 last week and reinforced it to me over and over. I wanted to know with that kind of knowing. I prayed a while longer and then I felt I was released to go back to the sanctuary for the last few minutes of the service.

And, BAM! There it was – EXACTLY what I had been praying about. (Just a note here:  The service is not ‘wired in’ to the prayer room and, while I could hear the preacher talking, I could not understand anything he was saying.) It absolutely blew me away when I walked into the service and heard him speaking on our identity and the fact we get our identity from Christ! He was giving and reading scripture and talking and, suddenly, I realized this was exactly what I had just been asking for and, “I need to be writing this down!” I even took a picture of the slide that was showing on the screen:

NEW IDENTITY

Needless to say, I came away feeling absolutely energized by Him and what He had done in me that morning. I have no idea where He intends to take me on this journey. I only pray I can keep up – I don’t want to lag behind Him and I don’t want to run ahead of Him. I just want to be right by His side, in step with Him and doing what He calls me to do – whenever and wherever that may be! Oh! And how cool is it that He also put this picture back in front of me this week – one I made a while back and very fitting for this particular time:

RECOGNIZE AND VISUALIZE

While this is the end of this ‘series’, it is far from the end of what He has started and is doing in me. I have no idea what might be coming next; but, rest assured, if He tells me to share it here, I will. Even if it’s just for the practice of being obedient to Him and is meant for nothing else, I will share.

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