flashthoughts

Posts Tagged ‘emotions

FACEBOOK GROUP COVER - IN CHALLENGESThere are no presents under our tree;
However, HIS PRESENCE fills our home.
Our lives are full of the gifts
He’s been giving us all year long.

I jotted down that little poem in a note app on my phone Christmas morning. I thought maybe there would be more to go with it. I’ve been praying about it since then and, as I sat down this morning to see if I was supposed to elaborate on it, I felt it was complete. I mean, it really does say it all.

For some who may not truly understand, though, I will try to explain just a tiny bit here in this post.

My heart was FULL on Christmas Day just remembering how God has blessed us throughout this past year. There were a lot of changes in our lives – happy changes, sad changes, just changes in general.

In January – wait, let me back up to last December 1st, because that is when Mom got her lung cancer diagnosis. Okay – then, in January, Frank was approved to go in Bullock Correctional Facility as the Assistant Chaplain.

February 20th – God sold our house in Atmore and let us know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, we were moving to Union Springs EARLIER rather than LATER. (We had been thinking we would move in the summer – AFTER I finished my commitment to my HIPPY job)

March 10th – We moved to a rental house in Union Springs – totally provided by God because, when our house sold in February, we had no idea where we were going to stay! I would leave on Sundays and go back to Atmore to stay with Mom at her house through Thursday each week, until my job with HIPPY ended May 11th.

March 17th – He showed us the house that would become our home – even though we had no idea how He was going to do it. He did – and it became officially our home May 11th!

May 6th – Mom was promoted to Heaven.

June 14th – Jessica found out her Dad had passed away, probably the night before, suddenly and very unexpected!

August 13th – MYA MARIE KITTS was born and Frank got to be in the delivery room! She has brought so much joy and love into all our lives these last 4½ months!

Soooooooo – you can see why my heart was so full on Christmas Day and why I mostly spent the day simply reflecting on all the wonderful gifts God has given us throughout the year. Like the peace He gave when He called Mom home – it happened pretty much just as she had always said she’d like for it to happen. Sure there are days I miss her really bad; but, I know where she is and that I’ll get to see her again, so I refuse to allow myself to get caught up in the sadness. I allow myself a good cry now and then, when it hits, but I do not allow it to linger on and on. Mom wouldn’t want me to do that.

It hurt watching my baby girl go through losing her Dad only a month after losing the only Granny she ever really knew. But, again, I am glad she also has the Peace our Father gives and I know she is doing okay. She is as great a mother as I always knew she would be, by the way! She is so wonderful with Mya – it just thrills my heart to watch her with her own baby girl!

I believe the gifts of PEACE in our losses and NEW LIFE in our family have probably been two of the most cherished gifts He has given us this year and my heart is, indeed, full!

Now, let’s enjoy the last few days of 2018 and see what wondrous things He will do in 2019!

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I CHOOSE JOYSunday night (Dec. 23rd) as I lay down to go to sleep, thoughts of the day were whirling around in my head of all the different emotions I had gone through. I should have gotten up and written them down then; but, I didn’t. I sensed the Lord was giving me the words to sort it all out; yet, I still refused to get out of bed to write it down. The last thing I remember thinking was, “I choose joy!” and then I was waking up at 3:15 a.m. Now, here I am, at 12:14 Tuesday morning, and I feel He may be giving me a second chance.

I couldn’t quite put my feelings into words Sunday. I couldn’t even figure out WHAT it was I feeling. One minute, so many different things at once; the next minute, nothing! I felt pretty good Sunday morning. I sang in a choir cantata with people I had met only two weeks before! My husband, daughter, son-in-love and granddaughter were able to attend and that made it even nicer. After church, we all went to eat lunch together, which was also great! Any time spent with even part of our family is a good time! (My husband had been to Urgent Care the day before and found out he nearly had pneumonia! He got a couple shots and started medicine when he got home, so the fact he was feeling better enough to attend church Sunday morning was incredible in itself!)

This same church was having a special, candlelight service Sunday evening and I felt led to attend. (Hubby felt he needed to stay in out of the night air, due to his illness, and I agreed – even though it made me sad he couldn’t go with me.)

Mom moved to Heaven this year – May 6th, to be exact. Maybe I cried through nearly the entire candlelight service because I was missing her, maybe it was because I was thinking how much she would enjoy a service like this, if she were still here. Again, I don’t know. I only knew I couldn’t stop the tears. I DO miss my Mom. There have been many times I wanted to pick up the phone to call and share something with her, only to remember I can’t do that anymore. Mom and I were very close, we liked the same kind of shows/movies on television; we loved going to singings together; we enjoyed LIVING together, which was incredible! When I remarried in December, 2013, Mom and I didn’t necessarily talk or see each other every single day; but, we didn’t let more than a couple days go by without at least a phone call. We only lived a couple blocks from each other, so we still saw each other often! Yes, I’m sure some of my feelings Sunday came from really missing her and that is okay!

What would not be okay, in my opinion, is to WALLOW in those “poor, pitiful me” feelings! Why? Because those feelings, while perfectly natural in short time increments, are what the enemy can use to cause deep depression and wanting to withdraw from everything and everyone around me! Not to mention, my Mom would tan my hide good if she knew I was spending time wallowing in self-pity and feeling sorry for myself because I miss her! (and, if you’re too young to understand what “tan my hide good” means, ask someone older than you – LOL) Like I said, she would definitely understand me missing her – she had times when she missed my Daddy terribly – but, she also wouldn’t allow herself to “wallow” in those feelings.

So, as I lay in bed Sunday night, trying to sort out all my feelings, I kept coming back to JOY! Does choosing joy mean I am happy and smiling all the time? Definitely not! It means I CHOOSE to remember my joy comes from the Lord and is part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), unlike the joy of the world, which comes from “the fleeting pleasures of sin” (Hebrews 11:25). By remembering this, the enemy no longer has a hold on me and I remain FREE!!!

Yes, it’s okay for me to miss my Mom and have days where I cry over the craziest, silliest, out-of-nowhere things; but, I will not allow myself to stay there and wallow in it – for these reasons:

  • God sent His ONLY Son to live on this earth in a human body so I could have relationship with Him
  • Jesus loved me enough to be willing to die on the cross for MY sins, even though He was completely innocent
  • I know Mom would NOT like it one little bit and absolutely would NOT approve – she wouldn’t want me to STAY sad, she would want me to be HAPPY for the many years we had together

We all grieve in different ways and grief is a perfectly normal thing to go through when we lose someone we love – especially someone we were very close to! I just don’t want to allow the enemy to use that grief to bind me! Yes, grief can become a chain used by the enemy, if I allow it.

So, on those days when I’m feeling a little sad, I allow myself to feel sad; but, I also stay in constant prayer on those days, reminding myself to CHOOSE the Joy of the Lord and not get caught up in or overtaken by my “feelings” of grief. The devil would like nothing better than for me to allow that to happen because he can not stand for me – or anyone else, for that matter – to be FREE!!! However, the (sad for the devil) truth is that I AM free! (John 8:36)

What will YOU choose each and every day – no matter what your ‘feelings’ are? I hope you CHOOSE JOY 🙂

DISCONNECTEDOn August 26th, my husband and I attended a church about 35 miles from where we live. The next day this was part of a post I made on Facebook, “It’s so exciting and it feels wonderful to be “connected” again. I truly didn’t even realize how ‘DISconnected’ I had been feeling until Sunday! It’s gonna be great being in a life group again!” I had actually shared that – about realizing I had been feeling ‘disconnected’ – the night before, with some of the ladies from this church. I had no idea God was about to take me on a “journey” of the word, Disconnected!
Today, the message was about “Living Disconnected” because of how we all tend to be on our phones with social media, etc. or binge-watching Netflix or whatever. But I felt God speaking to me on a whole different level about this word, disconnected, again.I feel that I’m disconnected at this season of my life not because of electronics but because God moved us.
Some days, like today, things happen – like the message – that make me too aware of how disconnected I feel. I don’t even want to get still to take a nap, because it allows my mind to go where I don’t want it to go. No, I’m not upset about our move. I love our new house. I love being close to my daughter and her family. I especially love that my husband is serving in the prison he has wanted to serve in ever since he went into prison ministry. Please understand that my feeling disconnected has absolutely nothing to do with my husband. I couldn’t ask for a more wonderful, Godly husband who, every day, gives me a teeny, tiny glimpse of just how much God loves me!
I honestly believe God moved us when He did because He knew that, as hard as it is being here, it would be even harder being back there. He knew I wouldn’t be able to handle having to drive by Mom’s house every day, knowing I couldn’t stop and talk to her.
I can remember in my past, sometimes thinking, “I wish I could just run to the store real quick and not run into anyone I know”. Now, I wish I COULD run into someone I know. I don’t know ANYONE, so I never have to worry about that. Now it only serves as a reminder that I am a stranger in a strange land and, even as I typed that, God spoke to my Spirit – that is how I SHOULD feel no matter where I live in this world. He doesn’t want me to get comfortable in a place I don’t belong. This world is not my home, I’m just passing through! Older people (like me – LOL) will remember that song. Maybe I was getting too comfortable where I was and that’s why He had to move me. I mean, I know He has certainly been moving me way out of ALL my comfort zones over the last few years; but, this is the BIGGEST move He’s made yet, in my life. I am farther away from my family and friends than I have ever been before!
I know He has great things ahead for me; but, I’m not even gonna lie – some days it just HURTS to feel so isolated and alone and this is one of those days. It’s made worse because I can’t even pick up the phone to call Mom and talk it out with her the way I used to when I was having a rough day. I honestly believe she was my absolute best friend in the world for the last 26 years or so!
I know God has a purpose and a plan in all this. I just need to seek Him more so He can share with me, in His time, that purpose and plan. I still love Him. I still trust Him completely. I will continue to seek His face. On days like today, I will allow the tears to fall so they can cleanse whatever it is that needs cleansing and, tomorrow, if God chooses to wake me, I will take forward steps and keep moving and seeking Him!
“and He gives Kathryn the power to live, to move and to be who she is. ‘She is His child’.” Acts 17:28 CEV

ALONE - 2I was a single Mom for MANY years, so trust me when I say I understand where some people are coming from, especially women, when they talk about being “bound and determined” to “make it on their own”. These words were actually spoken to me recently and, as I thought about them, I felt God speaking to my Spirit. I am here to share it.

Making it “on your own” means you are paying your own bills and taking care of your family without any outside help. That’s all well and good and admirable; but, can I be honest and share this with you?

The truth of the matter is this: God never intended for any one of us to walk this road alone and “do it on our own”. I’m not talking about not being able to pay your bills, now – I’m talking about we are designed to do life TOGETHER, walk this journey of life WITH each other.

Now, I’m not a ‘water’ person. I don’t know how to swim, so I really don’t care for the beach or ocean or pool or whatever. That’s why I find it rather amusing that God put this example in my Spirit. I guess that’s how I also know it was definitely Him, because it certainly wouldn’t be MY first thought – LOL

Think about it: If you were in the middle of the deep water, drowning and someone came by in a boat to rescue you, would you seriously tell them, “No, you go on without me. I’m bound and determined to make it to the shore on my own.”? I certainly hope you wouldn’t!!! Then don’t turn down the Lord when He sends friends along your path to walk this journey WITH you – no matter what that might look like!

It might be someone offering to keep your kids while you and your spouse (or just you, if you’re a single parent) have an enjoyable day or evening. It might be someone offering you a ride to the grocery store or doctor’s office or church or anywhere else – REALIZE that, if they offer, it’s because God moved on their heart and asked them to do it. Those are the kinds of things I’m talking about. Don’t allow the enemy – or yourself – to use PRIDE to get in the way of a blessing God wants to send your way. Remember this, you may not feel you ‘deserve’ or want the help; but, if God has moved on someone’s heart to make the offer, don’t you think He also has a blessing in store for them for being OBEDIENT and listening? When you refuse to let others bless you, you could be interfering with not only your blessing; but, theirs, as well.

I just read this in an article and it goes along with exactly what I was trying to say here: “God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness…” (Genesis 1:27). Ever wonder who God was talking to? God, by nature, is Trinity. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God’s very nature is relational. And since we were created in his image, we were made to be in relationships!

In other words, we were made to DO LIFE TOGETHER 😊

One last thought – I mean, let’s be totally honest, even those who “think” they are ‘doing it on their own’, aren’t! Why? Because not one of us can even get up in the morning unless God sees fit to give us another breath. Without Him, I can do NOTHING; WITH Him, I can do ANYTHING – you know it’s true!

BANDAIDYou know when you have a bandaid somewhere on your body, how “they” always say, “Yank it off fast and it won’t hurt”? If so, then you discovered, after the first time you tried it, “THEY” LIED!!! However, even knowing that, we still try it every time, right? I know I do.

Maybe I have been applying that same ‘logic’ to the recent events in my life. My Mom was recently given some news that no one likes to receive. I have been so busy with work and helping get Mom to different doctor appointments that I have been thinking, “Just say it really fast, keep moving and it won’t hurt” – truth is, though, I was lying to myself. It still hurts – BAD – but I haven’t really had time to just sit down, slow my mind and truly process what is happening to/in my Mom. So, now is the time to say it slowly; to get my thoughts sorted out and think about the road my Mom has found herself on.

My (pause) Mom (pause) Has (pause) Cancer (pause) Lung Cancer (pause) – There, I said it s-l-o-w and I’m still trying to let it soak into my brain, my entire being, actually.

I find it amazing how incredibly deep simple words can hurt. I have a friend who, a few weeks back, asked for prayer for her own Mom and said she couldn’t even say the word because it was too surreal and hurt too bad. I remember thinking, “Bless her heart. I can imagine.” Let me tell you right now, NO! I could not imagine!!! I had absolutely no idea!!! God is teaching me a lot just through that simple statement. We – maybe I should just say I – am so quick to think I can possibly imagine the awful way some situations can make others feel. This has definitely taught me to NEVER think I could, in a million years, imagine someone else’s pain! I did not have a clue how my friend felt, until I found myself trying to utter the exact same words – My Mom has cancer.

I realize, in trying to write about this, that my thoughts are scattered and all over the place. I started to apologize for that; but, decided I shouldn’t have to. The point of this writing is for ME to try to settle all these weird, unexplainable feelings going on inside me; therefore, I should feel free to simply write as it comes to me. Maybe I’ll try to go back and re-read this before I actually post it and TRY to put it in some kind of “order” and maybe I won’t. I mean, after all, nothing about this is in “order”! My Mom is 81 years old and has ALWAYS been in great health! I mean, sure, she would get the occasional cold or flu; but, basically still in great health! Cancer isn’t supposed to happen to MY MOM!!! Right, Lori? I know you know what I’m talking about! To be honest, cancer isn’t supposed to happen to ANYONE!!! So many people get mad at God when an illness, like cancer or anything else life-threatening, attacks someone they love – or them, for that matter – when the truth is God had nothing to do with it. WE (HUMANS) are the ones that are responsible. WE are the ones that sinned. From the first sin of Adam and Eve right up to my sin of today – SIN is what brought all the disease and sickness into the world. GOD, IN HIS GRACE, HELPS US THROUGH IT!!! Why do some get healed on this side of heaven and others get healed on the other side? I don’t know. I’m not God. It’s not for me to decide or to know. I only need to know that I can trust God to do what He knows is best and I will ALWAYS trust that!

Okay, so I have no idea where that last paragraph came from or why it is in this post. Apparently, someone needed to hear it or the Holy Spirit wouldn’t have poured those words through my mind and into my fingers as they typed.

It truly is a hard thing to see my Mom have to go through what she is going through: having such a hard time breathing that it makes her weak. So weak that, for a couple of days, she didn’t even feel strong enough to change out of her night clothes. She was using all her energy just to try to breathe! The tumor in her lung is pressing down on her bronchial tube to the point that the bronchial tube is almost completely closed – meaning, she is, basically, breathing with one lung! At all her doctor’s appointments, she was asked if she had oxygen and, each time, we told them no; but nothing seemed to get done about it. Until her appointment with her oncologist. True, we were a bit aggravated at not being seen until almost 2 hours past her appointment time; but, when he DID see her, he not only asked about the oxygen, when he found out she didn’t have any, he made sure it was ordered and in the process of being on the way to her before we left! She got her oxygen the very next afternoon and I believe it has really made a difference. I went by to check in with her the day after she had gotten it and she was already looking like she felt better. In fact, she said she had already done more that morning than she had in a while!

So, yes, it’s, possibly, going to be a long road to great health again and it will be hard to watch; but, watch it I will and will be right by her side, as much as is possible for me to be there, because I do have faith in God and I do believe He allowed her to get what she thought was a bad sinus infection so she would go on to the doctor so this could be caught as early as it was.

Through it all, something a friend said a few months back, has really stuck with me and I definitely agree with it. When he found out he had esophageal cancer, he said, “People call cancer the ‘big C’; but, I say it’s the LITTLE c because CHRIST is the BIG C”. Now, I may not have gotten that quote exactly right, but I DID get the important thing right – cancer is the little c and CHRIST is the BIG C and the little c MUST answer to HIM! Right, Bob?

I also know it was no accident that the Lord had me start studying in James last month. I simply read a few scriptures – sometimes only one – each morning and study on what they mean. This morning, I read James 5:14-15. I will share here exactly what I shared in my journal:

James 5:14-15 (my version)

 Is anyone sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them, anointing them with oil in the Name of the Lord. Their (the elders) faith prayer will heal the sick and the Lord will make them well and will forgive those who have sinned.

 Notes from my Life Application Bible: While verse 13 was referring to any kind of suffering – not necessarily physical illness – verse 14 IS referring to anyone who is physically ill. People in the church (Christians) are NOT (or should not) be alone. We should be able to count on others for support and prayer. The elders should be on call to respond to the illness of any member and the church should be sensitive to the needs of ALL its members.

The faith prayer is not referring to the faith of the sick person, rather, it is referring to the faith of the people praying! GOD HEALS, FAITH DOESN’T and ALL prayers are subject to God’s will; but, prayer IS part of God’s healing process.

My prayer:   Father, thank You for allowing me to be part of Your healing process by my prayers and my faith in You! Please help me where I am weak in this area and have the Holy Spirit “nudge” me to pray for someone the very minute they ask. Even if we are in the middle of a store, remind me to pray for them RIGHT THERE! Thank You for loving me so much that You are willing to include me in Your process and plan. I love You 😊

This post may not be for anyone but me – and I’m okay with that, because it has definitely helped me get some feelings sorted out. Thing is, it seems like every time I feel I’ve written something ‘just for me’, He still manages to use it to help someone else, too. So, that is why I continue to share. Love y’all!

I know that I have written before about how everything comes down to choices – specifically, our individual choices. Recently, I found out a video was done as a college project by someone in our church about this very thing. I was going to share it on Facebook, but decided I’d rather share it here (with permission) so my “non-facebook” friends would have a chance to see it, too.

This video is extremely well done – and YOU get to pick which choice Sam makes. I suggest watching all the different scenarios – and remember, it DOES always come down to the choices we make. (Great job Lacey!)

Do you ever have trouble wondering if you’re hearing from God or am I the only one that struggles in that department? It’s times like that when I am forced to realize that I don’t spend the time in His Word that I should. If I did, maybe I wouldn’t question so much if it’s truly Him I’m hearing from but that’s a post for another day, right?

I recently went through this battle again – trying to figure out if I was hearing from Him or being absolutely crazy – but I handled things differently this time. Instead of telling anyone else what was going on, I kept it between Him and me. I decided prayer was my best way to go. I asked Him to show me, with no uncertainty, that it was absolutely HIM and I knew there were ways He could do this. I prayed and then I waited and listened and He made Himself so clear. I wish I had written down from the beginning all the things that transpired but I didn’t. On June 12 I did, however, go back and write down the things that really stood out from the beginning until that day and, after that, I wrote down each day the things that happened. Since I can’t figure out how to condense it down, I will just share from my journal for this particular journey.

THESE ENTRIES ARE MADE JUNE 12 – REMEMBERED THE BEST I CAN

Friday, May 4, 2012

I attended my first ever 31 Party with Jessica and Cassie in Auburn. It was there that I learned Thirty One is based on Proverbs 31. I never knew that. It was at that party I began to feel ‘hmmm…maybe I should have one of these parties’ but IMMEDIATELY dismissed the idea. Why? Because I had said I would not have any more ‘parties’ like that because no one would show up. The last party I tried to host was for a friend who was trying to get started in Premier Jewelry – NO ONE showed up except for my Mom. That ‘party’ consisted of me, my daughter, my Mom and the friend I had tried to help. What a disappointment – not to mention that it REALLY fueled my feelings of insecurity and rejection!

Week of May 7, 2012

I don’t really remember what day or how we even got on the subject (other than the Lord bringing it about, which I didn’t realize at the time) but my co-worker had been looking for something online and the next thing I knew I was telling her about Thirty One and all the neat things they have. She was looking at the website and made the comment there were lots of nice things that would make great Christmas gifts. Before I knew it, I was saying, “So, if I have a party, would you come or like to order something?” WHAAAAAAT??? I really just said that???? WHOA!!! {Guess I should have started getting suspicious right then but I was still clueless about what was coming – lol}

So, I sent a text to the only person I knew that was a Thirty One Consultant, Janalyn, and told her I’d like to have a party. It took us a while to be able to get together to pick a date but we finally did and settled on June 15.

Week of June 4, 2012

Sometime during this week – I’m thinking maybe around Thursday or Friday – another thought started nagging me at the back of my head. I had started looking through the catalog to make my ‘wish list’ and I really started getting excited about all the neat things I was seeing. Even though this thought went fleeting through my head, I sure didn’t let it linger or dwell on it – I just kept looking through the catalog.

 Saturday, June 9, 2012

I was looking through the catalog again to finish up my wish list, passing time until it was time for Mom and I to head to Daphne. As I was looking through the catalog again, that silly, nagging thought returned. I tried to immediately dismiss it again but it would not go away this time. I found myself giving in to it and sending Janalyn a text to see when I could meet with her so I could talk to her about it. I had quite a few questions because of this thought that had “attacked” (lol) me out of nowhere.

We were able to get together the next afternoon and she took a lot of time and answered all the questions I could think to ask and even shared some things that I had not thought about.

THE FOLLOWING ENTRIES ARE BEING MADE IN “REAL TIME”

 Tuesday, June 12, 2012

 After talking with Janalyn and getting the answers to my questions, I still felt I had a lot of praying to do. I have tried too many things “on my own” before and I only want to do this if I can truly feel from Him that it is something He wants me to pursue.

Every time I think about becoming a Thirty One Consultant, I get excited about helping people get organized and I start thinking, “I could do this”. Then all the ‘doubting Thomas’ questions come in to my head. This morning I was going through that same cycle again but when the questions started coming in my mind and I started doubting again, I suddenly felt as if ‘someone’ (hmmmm….wonder Who? LOL) was saying to me, “Who do you think is feeding you the doubt?” That’s when I suddenly felt peace again about doing this.

Later that morning I saw this post from one of my friends on Facebook: “For the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught. Prov 3:26. May we have God-confidence, not self-confidence” {Or as Renee Swope calls it – Godfidence!}

I took that as reassurance that I was definitely hearing from Him and I KNOW He is going to use this as a tool to help me further overcome my battle with insecurity.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Today’s Daily Promise is another reassurance that I am taking the step He wants me to take. This is what it said:

Matthew 17:19-20 WEB

19 Then the disciples came to Jesus privately, and said, “Why weren’t we able to cast it out?”
20 He said to them, “Because of your unbelief. For most certainly I tell you,
if you have faith as a grain of 
mustard seed, you will tell this mountain,
‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.

 Promise #164: Nothing will be impossible for those who have even a little faith.

In this promise, Jesus tells us that even if our faith is as tiny as a mustard seed, we are able to tell a mountain to be thrown into the sea. Since I haven’t seen many mountains hurled into the sea lately, I often wonder what Jesus meant when He said these words to His disciples.

Of course we all have many figurative mountains in our lives that we face on a daily basis. Perhaps it isn’t the literal mountains around us that need moving, but these figurative ones? Maybe one day we will see literal mountains cast into the oceans, but in the meantime, what are the mountains in your life where you need a miracle? I love the fact that Jesus encourages us that we don’t need much faith at all to make a big impact.

From what I understand, a mustard seed is a very small seed, yet Jesus says even if our faith is that small, nothing will be impossible to us. Maybe it is time to start exercising the faith that you have? Start speaking to the mountains in your life with a childlike simplicity, just believing that they have to go away in Jesus name. Who knows what may start to happen?

 When I think of this promise, I am reminded of the man who came to Jesus to ask Him to deliver his son and Jesus asked him… “Do you believe?”. The man responded “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!” Jesus didn’t rebuke the man for this response but healed his son instantly.

 God understands our frailty, yet He continues to encourage us to simply have faith and watch what happens. Today I am going to speak to the mountains in my life, how about you?

 My “mountain” is insecurity – automatically assuming people don’t want me around or that I’m ‘not good enough’ – but I know these are lies from the enemy and I am choosing to fight hard to ‘move that mountain’ with my faith.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

I will not apologize for not believing in ‘coincidence’. I believe God shows us things at the very time we need to see them and I believe He will use all different sources – be it a daily devotional, an inspirational email, a friend’s facebook post or a tweet on twitter or any other number of things – to give us answers to our prayers or to reassure us once we feel that we have received His answer, whether it is yes, no or maybe. That is why I had to chuckle just a bit when I opened my You Version Bible Reading for the day. The title? “Don’t Wait to Obey God”

There is a refreshing immediacy to Joseph’s relationship with God. When God said it, Joseph did it.

 If you believe God loves you and you want to live a life of obedience in response to His love, then this is how you should respond: When God says it, then do it.

 I’ve had the opportunity to meet a lot of great men and women of faith from around the world. They’re all different from each other, but they all have one thing in common. When they sense God saying to do something, they don’t hesitate. They step out and do it.

 First John 5:3 says, “This is love for God, to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome.” (NIV) I was talking recently with Tom Holladay, my brother-in-law, about why, when God asks you to do something, it sometimes feels like a burden. What’s wrong?

 We decided it’s often because of procrastination. When we don’t act right away, it becomes harder to do the longer we wait. But when we do what God says, freedom comes into our lives.

 What is God calling you to do? Is it a phone call you need to make? An action you need to take? Whatever it is, write it down right now, tell God you’re willing to do it and ask Him to give you the strength you need to make it happen.

So – I ‘sort of’ have this one licked already – I have already started writing it down and I HAVE been asking Him to give me not only the strength but the COURAGE I need to make it happen. And I know that He will.

Another thing I want to share is, I also felt He was saying to me, “Say nothing to anyone until the night of the party and make the announcement then.” That was REALLY hard for me because I REALLY wanted to talk to my Mom about it and I also wanted to tell a very close friend and my daughter – but I didn’t. Oh, I came close to letting it slip a couple of times, but I was able to realize what I was about to do and reminded myself that I couldn’t. Let me just tell you how the enemy tried to get me to “spill the beans” before I was supposed to: A co-worker was looking through the catalog today and asked me, “Is this something you’re selling now?” It was REALLY hard not to say anything BUT I knew exactly where that question came from – he was a little TOO obvious with that one so I simply replied, “No” which was an honest answer because I had not signed up to be a consultant – YET 😉

Friday, June 15, 2012

WOW! I was beginning to wonder if this day would EVER get here and then I thought 6:30 would NEVER come! Thankfully, I was fairly busy all day getting the house ready and food prepared. I had received 15 “yes” responses from my invitations and 7 “maybe” responses but I was still wondering if anyone would actually show up. Then it started – I started receiving texts saying “I really was planning to come but…” or “I’m not gonna be able to make it after all” and you KNOW what the enemy started doing. Started putting thoughts in my head of how no one would actually show up and I was TOTALLY missing God on this one and why did I even think for a minute I should do this. But I IMMEDIATELY dismissed these thoughts because I knew of some that were coming for sure and I REFUSED to let the enemy camp in my thoughts. The time of the party finally arrived and can you guess what happened? That’s right – you got it – the living room was SO full that if one more person had shown up, I know we would have fit them in, but I sure don’t know where or how! LOL There were a total of 15 people here, including Janalyn and myself.

There you have it –  my journey to becoming a Thirty One Consultant. Now I am excited about beginning the journey as a consultant. Whether God has me here for a long time or a short time, I know this is where He has me right now and I can’t wait to get started. There is one other thing that happened allowing me to know for sure that God is the One that called me to this and it wasn’t just a ‘fleeting’ idea that went through my head, but I am not at liberty to share what it was at this time. I will share it when I have permission from the other person that it involves. Just trust me that it was the one final piece of information to assure me once and for all that this is definitely a “God” thing 🙂

I will keep you all updated about how the journey goes and I would also love to hear from you about your journeys. Any mountains you want to speak to or that you’ve spoken to in the past? Would you share? Maybe you can only share that you are currently on a journey and would like prayer – that’s okay, too. Share only that request for prayer. I’m sure that others would join me in praying for God to show you His direction, even though you can’t share the specifics. I look forward to hearing from y’all.


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